Jennifer's Testimony
of God's Grace!

January 2, 2000

I was nine years old when I first wondered if there was a God or not. And if there was a God, why would He let some guy do the stuff that he was doing to me. Why didn't God ever stop him. Everything changed for me when I was nine years old. That was when I lost my childhood for good.

You see, my dad's best friend started to abuse me. It didn't stop until I was about thirteen years old. I remember praying to God to make it stop, but it didn't. How, I asked, can a God who is just ever let this happen to me?

When I was about eleven or twelve, my great-grandma gave me a diary and I started to write in it and record everything that happened when he was there. One day my mom found it when she was cleaning my room. She confronted me with it when I got home from school that day. She gave me three options: 1) press charges, 2) ignore it, or 3) she would have my dad talk to him. I chose to press charges on him. It was a very hard decision, but deep down I knew it had to be done.

There were times when I tried to kill myself, but for some reason God had a plan for my life. I had withdrawn even more than I had at the age of nine, and so when one of my friends asked if I wanted to go to a retreat with her, I just said sure, why not. The topic was "Who is Jesus?" The same year that my parents found out I was being molested, at the age of thirteen I also gave my heart to Jesus Christ. It was December 28, 1995, and it was the best decision I have ever made.

It hasn't always been easy, but no one ever said my life would be a rose garden. I had problems to work out. My mom and I had a good relationship before she found out, but after that we have to struggle to have a relationship. And at times I get so jealous because I see that relationship that I want with her between her and my brother, and it hurts so much. There are times I wish I could be a little girl again just so I could hear her tell me again that she loves me.

A time came when the Lord told me that I needed to go and get help so that I would be able to have a healthy and normal life. I started to pray about it. There was a Bible Study at my church called Isaiah 61, and God said that is the one I want you in. It was for people who've been abused. That was the second best thing I have ever done. It showed me that I need to forgive him, which I have. It also taught me that I should not be asking why me, but thanking God. It was real hard for me because I was only fifteen then, and everyone else there was like thirty years old. God has changed my life through this!

I still struggle with my mom. She won't even talk about it. I'm now 18 years old, and a lot has happened to me, but God has been a good God to me. About two weeks ago, I was in a car accident and I was okay and all, but I got the best Christmas present I could ever want. When my parents came to get me, I saw the look of love and concern on mom's face. Something I was forgetting. I know now that my mom loves me and one day she will no longer be able to hold it inside of her.

Some friends of mine asked if I could change this in my world, would I? And I had to tell them no, because through all of this in my life it made me lean more on Jesus Christ and become stronger in my personal walk with Him. The verse that's got me going throughout the years is Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me!"


July 21, 2001
AN AWESOME UPDATE


This is what God has done in my life today! I went to Walmart to get a present for a girl that I baby-sit for, it's her birthday party today. And there I had an awesome opportunity to witness to the guy who molested me as a child, when I was 9 yrs old until 13, the one I talk about above.

At first, we just looked at each other. I didn't say a word to him and he didn't say one word to me either.

This guy who molested me is now my brother in Christ! Awesome! When we ran into each other, God told me to go and tell him that "I love him and that I forgive him for what he did." I didn't want to and kept on looking for a gift, but the Holy Spirit kept convicting me to go and talk to him.

I told him, no, that I couldn't do it, but God kept telling me to go and tell him that He loves him and forgives him. I said, NO, but then He said "who is in control, you or Me?" I told him that He was, and he told me that He would protect me, "so please go tell him that I love him and forgive him."

I did, and right then and there in the food court HE ACCEPTED CHRIST INTO HIS LIFE AND I NOW HAVE A NEW BROTHER IN CHRIST!



"Jesus Loves Me!"